


you always knew how to push my buttons (you give me everything and nothing)

by cheshire_lion



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Don’t copy to another site, F/F, Hate Sex, Hate to Love, but not very graphic, mostly mentioned - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-01-17
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:00:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheshire_lion/pseuds/cheshire_lion
Summary: “Every time this happens they swear it‘s the last, every time it happens it feels like the last straw, like this is the end and all their anger and all the attraction between them will evaporate.It never does.”OrZari and Charlie are sleeping together for the wrong reasons until their captain finds out and they are forced to face their emotions.





	you always knew how to push my buttons (you give me everything and nothing)

They‘ve barely made it into Charlie‘s quarters when Zari starts kissing her, so hard it‘s barely enjoyable, just contact and warmth and an outlet for her pent up anger.  
The room is almost as familiar as Charlie’s lips, the wall she pins her against metal, cold and solid, something to support the weight of what they’re doing.  
When Charlie opens her lips to deepen the kiss Zari bites down instead and nails dig into her back in response, will surely add to her collection of scratches. It’s hot and tastes like iron, feels like she’s being pulled up and away.  
When their tongues finally meet Zari almost considers softening the kiss, savoring it. Part of her wants to learn every crevice of Charlie’s mouth, the rhythm she likes best. But she can’t bring herself to do it so she presses up closer, pins Charlie’s hands above her head and smiles when her own legs are kicked apart without much consideration.

Every time this happens they swear it‘s the last, every time it happens it feels like the last straw, like this is the end and all their anger and all the attraction between them will evaporate.  
It never does.

Sometimes it‘s Zari who catches Charlie licking her lips looking at her and she remembers what that tongue can do, where it‘s been on her body, how it felt. All the little sparks, the excitement and bliss. Then it‘s Zari that asks the question, takes Charlie‘s hand and pulls.  
Other times it‘s Charlie who feels Zari lean into a touch she would‘ve avoided mere weeks ago and she comes so close Zari can feel her breath tingle on her ear. She doesn‘t need a lot of words to convince her.  
In either case they end up in one of their bedrooms, end up like they are right now or in some variation of the same situation.  
Zari pulling Charlie‘s shirt up, struggling to get it over her shoulders and arms and head because they barely stop kissing. Their mouths collide time and time again because there‘s no tomorrow, time‘s a concept, and they need each other like air.

They end up with bruises and scratches and hickies, covered in sweat. Neither one of them seems to be able to bear the thought of being vulnerable.  
So they bicker and push and it‘s just as it‘s always been.

The sex is good, it‘s been good from the beginning. Zari tries not to allow that thought but they _fit_. As much as they try not to, as much as they try to throw the other off their rhythm, they fall into one and the same.

Zari‘s arms hurt. She‘s been fighting all day and has only let go of Charlie‘s wrists to get her shirt off, pulling them up above their heads again right after. They‘ve been standing there for too long, kissing for too long. She‘s getting slower, sloppier. Charlie‘s tongue is more languid, there’s more spit and their lips are in total sync. It‘s already unbearably intimate.  
Zari‘s head feels like she imagines being drunk does, almost dizzy, high. She can‘t think, only feel.  
When she lets go of Charlie‘s hands and they find their way to her back again, without digging in this time, all Zari feels is warmth and her lips and the sting in her eyes.  
She wants the pain back but at the same time she could lose herself in this, could stay here forever.

And suddenly she‘s panicking and she breaks away, panting; rubs her sleeve over her lips frantically, as if it will clean off that feeling, that sweet stickiness she doesn‘t want to feel, least of all for the shapeshifter.

She takes a few seconds to compose herself and then „Bed,“ is all she has to breathlessly bark for Charlie to comply. Before she can join her, can close her eyes to make the distraught look in hers go away, the door opens.

Zari sees Charlie scrambling to her feet, grabbing her shirt, even as she spins around.  
Whoever the intruder is, they‘ve seen them, and Zari’s emotions flash from relieved to angry to embarrassed.

Sara doesn‘t say anything. Her eyes wander over Zari‘s kiss swollen lips, the flannel discarded right next to the entrance. They linger on Charlie, who has her shirt clutched to her bare chest but stares back defiantly.

And then Sara turns around and Zari hears her calling everyone else to the bridge over comm before she leaves them there.  
Neither one of them speaks as they get dressed.

——

„This has been going on for _how long_?!“ Sara sounds incredulous, like it‘s impossible that they‘ve been fucking since just two weeks after Charlie had come on board.

Zari just shrugs.

„Z, you know you can _talk_ to me, right?“ She‘s right. She‘s sent everyone else away on the emergency mission she was trying to alert them of. If there‘s a time to talk it‘s now, but Zari‘s not going to admit that.

„Eww. That‘s disgusting Sara. Feelings.“ Sarcasm. Sarcasm is good.

Sara tilts her head, studies her until Zari thinks she can _feel_ her gaze. „I‘m serious Zari. I‘m sorry I walked in without knocking, but I’ve never seen you as hostile as you are with Charlie, and this just doesn’t make sense. Help me understand.“  
She sighs as she sits down opposite of Zari, tries to hold eye contact with her. Zari keeps looking away.

At least she’s not saying anything about Charlie being a woman, because Zari can’t have that conversation, too. Not tonight. Maybe she won‘t ever have to with Sara.

But she has to give her _something_.  
„There’s nothing to understand. She’s annoying, but she’s also good in bed.“  
A sudden sting in her finger makes Zari look down and there‘s the cuticle she‘s just damaged by fiddling with her skin, bleeding a little.  
It’s good pain, because it grounds her, helps her focus.

„Well, so am I, and we‘re not sleeping together.“

„Ew, Sara,“ Zari grimaces. „You‘re with Ava.“

„I wasn‘t when you joined us.“ Sara raises an eyebrow and it‘s clear she‘s waiting for a reaction, anything. Zari doesn‘t give it to her.

„Even I have standards.“ It’s a halfhearted joke and Sara sees right through it.

„And Charlie passes them?“

„That‘s not what I - not what I meant.“ Suddenly Zari’s eyes burn again. „Gosh, Sara.“

——

After that evening, nothing immediately changes.  
It‘s not what Zari expected, somehow, but it makes sense. Sara is assertive, but she‘s not going to tell Zari what to do in regards to her sex life.  
Of course everything stays the same - almost.  
They double check if they‘ve locked the door now and twice Zari has to endure Charlie mocking her after sex because she‘s crying.  
„Am I that good?“ God, Zari wants to strangle her. She isn’t. She just looks like her friend, like her crush. And she’s not.  
Zari is allowed to cry. And it’s just human that she feels safe when Charlie holds her as soon as she realizes that this is more than just a bodily response to her orgasms, asks her if she’s okay.

Charlie too gets quieter after Sara sends Ava in to talk to her.  
Zari’s pretty sure the conversation leaves Ava questioning all of her life choices, judging from the way she reaches for Sara’s hand after, how she lets Sara pull her close even with the whole team there.

She wonders what they‘ve talked about before she remembers that she doesn‘t care. She wonders how it would be to have that kind of connection with Charlie.

——

The next time they are about to fuck Zari stops because Charlie pulls away from their kiss.  
Zari doesn‘t care for Charlie, but she always asks for consent before they give in, made sure before the first time Charlie knew they could stop at any given moment. Charlie had laughed back then, but if Zari doesn‘t ask, she does.  
So when Charlie pulls away from their kiss, Zari sits back. She‘s still stradling Charlie‘s hips, the shapeshifter‘s hands steady on her thighs, keeping her in place as she shivers.

And suddenly it‘s like they‘ve hit pause, like Zari looks at Charlie for the first time.  
Her pain looks similar to Amaya‘s, but different. There‘s no deer in the headlights eyes, no quivering lip; Charlie looks almost angry. Her eyebrows are furrowed, tears in her eyes she‘s clearly trying to blink back.

Zari takes her hands, gently removes them from her hips and slides off of her.  
Now she‘s sitting next to Charlie who still hasn‘t moved and it‘s not better.  
„If you keep scrunching up your nose like that you‘ll get wrinkles,“ Zari says, using her index finger to smoothen the little patch of skin between Charlie‘s eyebrows.

Charlie swats her hand away and Zari doesn‘t know what to do with that, with herself.  
Has she hurt Charlie? Is this her fault? Before she can ask, Charlie rolls onto her side and picks up Zari‘s free hand.  
„I liked that.“ When Zari raises her eyebrows she clarifies. „I liked you taking my hand like that, before. When you got up.“

Zari pulls her hand back. „I‘ll put that on the list of things never to do again then.“ It‘s not the time for snarky comments, but Charlie chuckles and it‘s a delightful sound, one Zari‘s never heard before.  
Before she can think about it, she‘s taken Charlie‘s hand again. Their fingers intertwine like it‘s the most natural thing in the world and Charlie sighs.

„Are you okay?“ Zari makes a second attempt at asking, and this time she gets an answer.

„Yeah. No. I don‘t know.“

„Wow, thanks for being so clear.“

„Fuck you, Tomaz. It‘s got nothing to do with the sex, if that makes it better.“

They‘re silent for a while after that exchange. Zari studies the way the bed sheet is wrinkled, tries to avoid glimpses of Charlie‘s sweaty skin.  
She doesn‘t let go of her hand though.  
It‘s warm and damp in her own and it should be uncomfortable, but it‘s not.

After a while Charlie pulls her hand away and sits up.  
And suddenly Zari‘s cold, like the only thing keeping her warm had been Charlie.  
Charlie gets up from the bed, starts to get dressed.

„I think we should stop this. This thing between us,“ Zari says. She feels the words cut up her throat, but she suddenly knows it‘s the right thing to do, that right now they aren‘t good for each other.  
Somehow the exposion to someone outside of their bubble has made it more real, highlighted everything that‘s wrong about what they‘ve been doing. More than that, _why_ they’ve been doing it. That in addition to what had just happened...

„As if you could stay away from me.“ Charlie‘s gotten up, barely looks at Zari as she slips into her pants. She clearly doesn’t realize how serious Zari is.

„I mean it, Charlie. We had to stop today, and maybe that‘s a sign that we should stop the whole thing.“

Now Charlie turns around, the bed between them. She looks surprised, but Zari can’t take offense in that, because she is surprising herself with her sudden conviction.

„No. No, I don‘t want that, Z. I like what we have. I don‘t like you, but you‘re passable in bed,“ Zari half-heartedly throws a pillow at her and she ducks away with a grin, „anyways, just because I got distracted today...“

„You suck, woman. You suck so much.“

„Oh, but you love me.“  
And maybe she does.

——

They stop sleeping together. Not immediately, but after two or three times, they stop. Mostly because Zari does her best to avoid Charlie, stops running head first into every possible confrontation with her.  
The distance makes Zari feel oddly alone, as if Charlie ever was someone that belonged to her; but it also gives her a chance to observe.

She sees the difference in Charlie‘s walk, catches herself enjoying her accent. She listens for laughs and looks for smiles and her stomach flutters.  
She observes how, day for day, Charlie relaxes more around the team, goes from defensive crossed arms to leaning into a conversation.

She‘s so different from Amaya and Zari‘s not sure if that makes things better or worse.

——

It doesn‘t take long for Charlie to reach her breaking point.  
It‘s only been a few weeks since their last night together and Zari‘s trying to visit the spirit realm when the door bursts open.

„Oi! We need to talk.“ Charlie crosses her arms, her stance wide, and _god_ is she attractive.

Zari‘s still sitting on the floor cross legged and she looks up slowly. „Now?!“

„Now,“ Charlie confirms. „I can‘t believe the way you‘ve been acting!“  
She steps closer and Zari scrambles onto her feet so she doesn’t have to look up at her.

“You mean not having sex with you?” It’s crude but Zari’s offended, even if she isn’t sure why. All she knows is that there’s anger bubbling up in her stomach.

Charlie surprises her when she blushes and turns away with a frown. It’s a weirdly coy behavior that doesn’t fit.  
It reminds Zari of the time Charlie had kissed her fingers after sex one night, of the early morning she’d asked her to stay with her. It reminds her of the donut she’d wordlessly placed in front of her the other day, of the softening touch of a hand in her hair after she’d finished eating Charlie out.

It’s strangely intimate and wrong to see Charlie like this and maybe that’s because of the picture of her in Zari’s mind. Maybe it’s because Zari wants her to be Amaya’s opposite, wants her to be hard and stern and rebellious all the time.  
Most of all she wants Charlie to hate her, because maybe then she could stop feeling like her heart’s been ripped out and sewn back in, badly.

“Sorry.” The apology slips out of Zari’s mouth before she can stop herself and Charlie raises an eyebrow.  
She stands there and Zari can’t help but feel how little of a stranger she is anymore. She’s seen her, touched her and she wishes it would’ve been gentler sometimes, she wishes she could’ve felt Charlie’s hand cupping her cheek, wishes she could’ve placed slow kisses along her collarbone, down her toned stomach. She wishes she was the one Charlie opened up to.  
Zari shakes her head, as if that’s going to get rid of the feelings that have already taken root deep in her chest.

“Nothing to apologize for,” Charlie says as she sits down in the same chair Sara had occupied during their talk. It feels like that was years ago. “So.”

“Yeah?”

“I miss you.”

Charlie’s words hit Zari like a freight train.  
“You _what_?!”

“I miss you. The others aren’t any good when it comes to arguments, and none of them are as hot as you.”

Zari’s ears burn, her mouth is suddenly dry. She clears her throat.  
“Obviously I’m the best.” Charlie rolls her eyes, but smiles. “But I didn’t think you’d,” Zari takes a deep breath, swallows, “miss me. I’ve been right here.”

It’s the first time they are talking like this and it feels like she’s treading water; knows how to swim but not the sea she’s in.

“But have you? We went from spending every other night together to...to this.” Charlie gestures vaguely.

“I thought a little distance would do us good, Charlie.”

Charlie’s serious expression is broken as a smile blooms on her face. “Do you know that this is the first time you’ve called me by my name while we’re alone?”

Zari mouths a silent “oh”, because she didn’t.  
“You payed attention to that?”

“I did. As much as I don’t want you to be, you’re important to me.”

It’s clearly not an easy thing for Charlie to admit, so Zari smiles at her.  
“I could say the same about you.”

The silence that follows her words is sudden and unexpectedly heavy. It envelops them both and Zari’s not sure if she’s drowning or comforted by it.

Charlie clears her throat and stands up, pushing her chair back with a loud creaking sound.  
“Well...”

Zari stands up too, maybe because she wants to follow, maybe because it’s polite - but it leaves her feeling foolish as Charlie awkwardly lifts one hand and turns to leave.

——

In the following week Charlie and Ava spend an unusual amount of time together. Really, any time they spend only with each other is out of the ordinary, but here they are.

When Zari begins talking to Charlie again their words eventually grow softer, their glances less secretive, their confrontations almost nonexistent.

It’s not that they are tiptoeing around each other - more like the one thing their conversation had done was show both of them that the other is interested in keeping this going, in trying. For the first time since Charlie arrived it feels like Zari is getting to know her. Not just how she acts, not just how she kisses and compares to Amaya.  
For the first time Zari feels like she’s getting to know Charlie as a whole new person and when she thinks of being important to Charlie now it spreads through her chest as warmth.  
It’s okay that Zari likes her because she’s not Amaya. She’s Charlie and Charlie isn’t half bad.

It’s a little as if Amaya had a twin, Zari realizes. They aren’t the same person, they just look similar. Similar because her mannerisms alone mean that Charlie looks different and Zari likes how she looks. She likes how she speaks. She just really likes Charlie and it’s finally something that she’s allowing herself to feel.  
Not every day, but more and more often.

——

When Ava approaches Zari she’s surprised, but not unpleasantly so. She doesn’t usually talk to Ava, but she appreciates her rational perspective more often than she’d like to admit. Writing code is nothing but logic and sometimes Zari wishes she could rely solely on that side of herself. Ava is like an external manifestation of it.

So Ava’s, “Zari, I’d like to talk to you,” leads to them sitting down together in her spacious office the next day.  
Ava is clearly uncomfortable and so is Zari, but Zari is the more forward of the two; so after Ava has already approached her, she feels obligated to begin the actual conversation.

“What did you want to talk about?” It’s a simple question, but Zari can see Ava physically relax; her shoulders slump forward just a little, she stretches her fingers on the desk.

“I know we haven’t really,” Ava looks a little helpless as she searches for words, so this is clearly not a Time Bureau matter, “we haven’t really talked but I wanted to address something.”  
She keeps shifting in her seat and the tension returns to her shoulders as she clears her throat.  
“You know I’m a clone, right?”

And of course Zari knows, so she nods. They had told them months ago. Sara’s hand on Ava’s lower back, her steady voice there to take over for Ava when hers tapered off.  
It had taken a while to really _get_ what that meant, and Zari had needed several run throughs with Gideon and a look of her own into 2213 to fully understand.  
Ava was a clone. Her name didn’t mean alive, or bird, or voice. It meant Advanced Variant Automaton.

“You know there’s women out there, somewhere in the future, that look just like me, right?”

And _oh_. Zari can’t believe it has taken so long for the penny to drop. Ava wants to talk about Charlie.  
Now it’s Zari that begins kneading her hands.  
“I know,” she presses out between her teeth.

“Sometimes it feels like I’m replaceable -“ Ava holds up a finger when Zari tries to interrupt, “but I’ve talked to Sara enough to understand that I’m not. Even if one of the other AVAs feels, she’s not going to be me.”  
Ava stands up and begins to pace back and forth behind her desk, and suddenly Zari feels like a school child being lectured.  
“If someone compared me to one of them,” her face contorts, “I don’t know what I’d do.”  
She stops and turns to look at Zari. “And I’m pretty sure Charlie feels equally misunderstood and unseen when you keep comparing her to Amaya.”

The words feel like a stab into Zari’s stomach. Her first instinct is to defend herself.  
She’s been getting over that, she’s sure she likes Charlie now and still - she hasn’t said that to her. Not once has she reassured Charlie. Hasn’t taken back that whispered _Amaya_ during their first night, hasn’t taken back any of what she’d said while they’d held Charlie prisoner.

“Did she tell you to talk to me?”

Ava shakes her head as she sits down on her desk. “No. Not directly.”

“Okay?”

Ava sighs. “Sara told me to talk to you after Charlie and I had had a few conversations. I kept hoping you’d sort it out yourself, but as much as I sometimes dislike her attitude, I really like Charlie, and I couldn’t keep seeing her hurt so much.”

Zari looks down. Is it really that bad? She remembers the beginning, remembers Charlie saying that she doesn’t care what or who Zari sees in her, as long as she fucks her.  
But that’s exactly what Zari would’ve said in her place. Telling Charlie how she felt had seemed impossible at the time.  
Does it still?

“Thank you for telling me.” Suddenly Ava looks unsure. “No, it’s okay. I’ll talk to Charlie because I really want us to work. I want us to be able to work. Together.” Zari flinches at how incoherent she is, but she needs to leave here, as soon as possible. She needs to be alone.

——

It takes a few days for Zari to approach Charlie. When she finally catches her alone in the engine room she tries to smile, but she’s doing nothing more than forcing the corners of her mouth upwards.  
“Charlie.”

“Pet.” Charlie grins when Zari groans.

“I swear to god, if you adopt that habit from Constantine I will personally sew your mouth shut.”  
Zari shudders.

“Well, then, what’s up, love?” Charlie asks.

“I wanted to talk to you about something.” When Zari realizes that she keeps shifting her weight from one foot to the other she stops, tries to find her footing. She clears her throat. “Alone.”

For the fraction of a second Zari thinks she sees something like apprehension in Charlie’s eyes, but then she smiles. “Okay. After today’s mission.”

——

The whole time they spend in Victorian England Zari catches herself looking at Charlie. It’s like a game; when one of them sees the other one’s eyes fixed on themself, they grin.  
Zari’s insides flutter, she goes from being nauseous to fidgeting, to fighting the instinct to run away.

She needs to talk to Charlie, but she doesn’t want to.  
She’s not good at talking about her feelings, hasn’t had anyone to talk to about them for a long time. In moments like these she realizes that she’s only been with the Legends for about a year. Her life before that - oppression, being on the run, constant losses and grief - is still what has influenced her the most.  
She’s used to depending on herself, as well as partly on the Legends, now. Admitting that she sees Charlie as her own person, a person that she might have feelings for - that seems like too much.  
It feels like she’s about to give part of herself up, drop it into someone else’s hands without knowing if they’ll catch it.

The mission goes by in a flash and Zari can’t take forever getting out of her period clothing. When she steps out of her quarters in her usual clothes, Charlie is waiting for her.  
She’s leaning against the wall, her arms crossed.  
Her eyes aren’t quite as closed off as when they’d met, but she still looks imposing. Her brows are furrowed, her cheeks red.

“Where are we going?” Zari asks, but instead of answering Charlie pushes away from the wall and takes her hand.  
They haven’t touched in weeks now, and Zari can feel tingling warmth run up her arm until it reaches her shoulder and spreads all through her.

Charlie knows where she wants to go. She pulls and Zari follows.

They end up in the same spot Zari had found Charlie in this morning.

“You like it here, huh?” Zari asks as she slides down a wall. Charlie sits down opposite of her. The engine room is so small that their feet almost touch in the middle.

“Yeah. It’s my favorite spot. No annoying Zaris around, usually.”

Zari sticks her tongue out and Charlie chuckles.

“What did you want to talk to me about?”

Charlie’s question immediately brings Zari back to why they are here.  
She adjusts her position one last time, straightens her back. Then she looks up at Charlie and this time they hold tentative eye contact as Zari begins to speak.

“I owe you an apology.” Charlie tilts her head to the side, but Zari continues without answering her unspoken question. “When you arrived I didn’t treat you like I should have. I was still hung up on Amaya and couldn’t handle you looking like her.”

The name alone is enough for Charlie to pull her knees to her chest, widening the distance between them, but she doesn’t say anything.

“Don’t get me wrong, I liked sleeping with you, but I started that relationship for the wrong reasons and I...I shouldn’t have, Charlie. So I’m sorry.  
I don’t see Amaya in you, not anymore.” Zari surprises herself with how true those words are, but she continues talking, follows the plan of what she wants to say that she’d laid out in her head. “I feel like I’ve gotten to know you better now, and I like you. I really, really like you. More than I ever liked...” she can’t say her name again, but she doesn’t need to, “anyone,” she finishes.  
And it’s true. Every word of it is true.

Charlie pushes herself up and for a moment ice cold panic floods Zari’s veins, but then she just sits down beside her, leaving about a foot of space between them.  
She’s so beautiful up close.  
The little locks of hair framing her face, her long dark lashes and expressive eyes. Her lips that look so soft and full, her glowing skin that not even the bluish light in the machine room can ruin the look of.

When she speaks she looks to the ground, away from Zari for the first time since they’ve settled here.  
“Thank you. I’m - I like you, Zari. A lot. I think I might even be in love with you.”

Zari is getting dizzy because Charlie keeps surprising her and she’s not sure she’s still breathing -

“I liked sleeping with you, too. I was so angry, because you were the one always guarding my prison cell. You were the embodiment of what I hated and somehow fucking you made it better. Seeing you fall apart under my hands made you vulnerable. Human.”  
She lets her head fall back against the metal wall and turns to look at Zari.  
“But somewhere along the line that meant that you became too close. Somewhere along the line I started enjoying being with you, in bed or not, too much. I needed you, and that really was the last thing I wanted.” She smiles, not at Zari but at a thought passing through her mind. “You suddenly became a part of my life and I knew from the beginning that I wasn’t part of yours.”  
She bites her lips, averts her eyes.  
In the distance something falls, and they can hear Sara shout Mick’s name.

“You were, though. Part of my life,” Zari says after a while of the only sound being the smooth humming of the engine.

Charlie smiles a sad smile. “Zari, Amaya was. Her body was. I wasn’t.”  
She looks into Zari’s eyes again. “That was why I kind of panicked, that one time. I realized that I wasn’t as indifferent to who you saw me as as I thought. I realized it wasn’t all physical for me and that was scary. I’ve never been in one place, or with one person for long, and then I find myself wanting just that with the one person that I could never have it with. That I’m not even me to.”

“No, you were,” Zari protests. “I’m not stupid, Charlie. Maybe not right from the beginning, but sooner than I admitted to myself I started seeing you as you. Liking you. Falling for you.  
God, do you know how often I thought of you when you weren’t there? How much energy I spent on deluding myself into thinking of you as Amaya until I just couldn’t? Until I didn’t want to anymore? Do you have any idea of how often I wanted to kiss you or take your hand when we weren’t in one of our rooms?”

For a second Charlie just stares at Zari, eyes wide.  
“Then do,” she finally says and Zari doesn’t need to hear those words twice. She takes Charlie’s hands, looks for confirmation that she gets in the form of a nod and then she leans in.

This is what their first kiss should’ve been. Charlie’s lips are as soft as they look, her skin still tasting like salt from the sweat of the mission.  
They break apart too soon, but Zari doesn’t want to take this fast.  
She’s messed it up - they’ve messed it up - the first time, and she’s not going to make that mistake again.

Charlie scoots closer to her and flicks a finger against her temple.

“Hey!” Zari protests weakly, her hand shooting up to where she feels the sting. But before she can ask why, Charlie has cupped her cheek and is pulling her in for another kiss, longer this time but just as slow.  
Her hand slides to Zari’s neck, into her hair, but she doesn’t pull.

So they just sit there and kiss and it seems like an eternity yet just a second has passed when Charlie ends the kiss again and smiles. Zari presses her lips together, but she too is smiling, barely able to contain her happiness.

That night when they sleep with each other it takes longer than usual. They’ll go back to being rougher sometimes, but for tonight this is what they need. They have all the time in the world together, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very much appreciated, let me know what you think if you feel like it!
> 
> Thank you to WardenRoot for beta reading!


End file.
